More often than not, I'd preferred to blog about happy stuff, funny stuff, frustrating yet funny stuff - all that genre of stuff. However, the contribution for this post is not at all happy nor funny. It is derived from pure frustration and flabbergast-ation (if there exists such a word) over the doings of people.

How on earth can I not be flabbergasted and distraught when over the last few months so much effort has been put into a project (which I'd initially figured worth saving) only to see it end in the drain owing to no consensus ad idem?

At the end of the day, I can only conclude that humans are just plain selfish - they only want to cater to their own needs/wants. Just as I viewed all their decisions as selfish, they, the decision-makers, must have equally considered our opinions (my and those with me along my road) on this security project as being selfish too. And both parties feeling that their views are justified, albeit on opposite poles, whilst working towards the same objective and ends - no solution :'(

Now I can begin to understand why the righteous man who had initiated this whole scheme had decided once and for all to pull out and stay away from it all. What is unjustifiable in my opinion is not the decisions that were arrived at and ever-changing, but that the method employed in such changes was unacceptable - it was done too unilaterally, with absolute discretion of the decision makers without reference to those on the front lines or the affected. This would be ubiquitous in the extreme, even if they hide behind the realm of kindness of doing "voluntary" "good" work for all to see.

This exercise of power does not rest well with those affected, least of all me (although I am considered part of the team but to a large extent was on the discovery channel on finding out about changes). Given that changes had to be made, it has to be done in the proper manner and forum so that it does not give rise to the basis for complaints or grouses.

I truly cannot see how such a system can survive, nor am I willing to be made a "voluntary" stooge in the middle ground, stupidly doing front line ground work whilst in the dark of decisions made and changed by the upper rung of decision makers and facing up to the affected people without an inkling of when, how or why these changes were made.

Still, keeping my purpose and principle intact, to always look at the brighter side, I am glad for having met some of those nice and wonderful neighbours I have, for making some friends along the way, for getting to know the good and the not so good, and most of all for having made the attempt and having done my best.

A: All these people didn't have any complaints before this project, now suddenly all these problems crop up and become part of our problems......bleh bleh..
B: Before this project, no one has to pay anything for it, so how can they complain??

***peace from ahfun***

I'm definitely guilty if charged with being hopeless at blogging, or at least for frequency of blogging, and for that I know of a couple of homo sapiens in my home [oops...some protest from those concerned here] who would not hesitate to bring forth such a charge! Despite the numerous occasions when I have had the "vision" and "inspiration" to put certain events in words, it had nonetheless eluded me by the time I reach my PC or when I finally found the time to reach it!

The year is fast whizzing by.....and it appears to me lately that most of the events that cropped up has related to the long past or loss. This year has seen the passing away of 3 relatives, and the meeting up with long lost friends (from primary and secondary school days) and relatives (cousins who I have not seen for 10 years and more...)

The demise of my father-in-law earlier in the year has left members of the family scampering to shower utmost attention on my mother-in-law, a natural phenomenon understandable in the circumstances. The recent demise of my brother-in-law may be seen as a blessing since he had been enduring pancreatic cancer and no longer enjoyed his usual quality of life.

Immediately following that a week later, my cousin passed away peacefully, of lung cancer. In many ways, she was almost an "aunt" to most of us as she was only slightly younger than my mum and her children are within the age-group of me and my siblings albeit that we are of two different generation levels in hierarchy. I was saddened by the fact that I had not managed to make it to visit her during her ailing days before her death, but was happy that she had at least come to my house this last Chinese New Year.

At her wake, I got to meet up with my nieces/nephews (her children) with whom I had been close during our younger days, especially the girls, one of whom is the same age as I am. Some of them are residing abroad now, in Sydney, Melbourne and Singapore. As we pass into the golden era, all these things seem to hold more meaning than it used to be when we were all on our own paths at ages of 20-30. Suddenly the pull of relationship, finding the ones you used to play with at the tender ages of 5-14 evokes a certain melancholic feeling of that proximity you once had. With the aid of IT, there is and will be a way of keeping in touch - a wondrous thing :D

Over the last few months of this year, I have been in contact with almost all my good old classmates, some with whom I had been in the same class for all those 6 primary school years. We had the good old system where one starts in Std 1 in that class, be it "A", "B", "C" or whatever, and ends in Std 6 in that same class - regardless of whether one is smart as Einstein or dumb as a mule!!! No streaming, siree! We had Indians, Malays, Chinese, Eurasians - all in the class. We had lots of fun, from Std 1C to 6C, since there were always ample opportunity to bully the slower or less endowed with grey matter.

We also had scary teachers, who had not given any second thoughts to show us their prowess at:
- flying chalk and/or dusters without having to turn back from the blackboard to look at you;
- using the longest and thickest ever "kayu pembaris" (ruler) to bash us, which is otherwise used to draw lines on the blackboard;
- using bony knuckles to deliver the death knell on your head (wonder how some survived without total loss of brain cells);
- or merely holding your shoulders and shaking you like a rattle for the rest of the class to hear if some bell were planted in any of your body parts, whilst being called a "SAKAI" (meaning 'primitive tribal person').

And yes, we had BLACK boards with good old white chalks for writing and coloured chalks for drawing, and dusters which, when full with white chalkdust, were a good alternative to whiten unwashed shoes! No white boards with markers for us!

My recollection of secondary schooling was somewhat blurrish, owing mainly to the fact that I was drifting much of the time. I figure the teachers were also somewhat more civilised except for the time I was embarrassed in front of the class as being "smart but lazy". I hung around different batches of friends - one group of Indians girls (one who is from a mixed marriage); another clique of Malay girls with whom I usually rode the bus home as we all stayed in the Gombak/Setapak Garden area, and some Chinese girls. Predominantly, I remember I was quite a loner, often skipping classes with a good book on hand to read - and mostly found reading in the library or corridors. [Important Note - reading did not equate to studying]. Sometimes, wonder how I passed or ended up in Science 2, given that parents had absolutely no inkling whatsoever of my studies, exams or even report cards.

It feels good to be in touch again with a part of life past and to see the people who had been there with you before.......


***peace from ahfun***